Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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