So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
