she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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