if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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