I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Randomize
