will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
