Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize