just come out here and I will go home with you...
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
