Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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