I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
