It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
