Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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