gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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