Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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