wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
