I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
