what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
