I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
