found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
He's a Shit stain on my heart
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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