Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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