So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
