Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
ugly people sure do ruin things
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
