I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
