babies were throwing up all over the place
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
