So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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