CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Shame - the story of my life.
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