Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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