I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
