For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
