the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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