i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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