when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
im drinking this country out of the recession.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
