I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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