Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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