The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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