my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
no. you can't hotbox the world.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
