whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
