somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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