great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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