idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize