there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
