We're facebook friends in real life
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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