Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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