Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
