i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
