Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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