Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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