Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
My pussy is not your playground.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize