im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm both gender and math confused
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
