He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I cockslap morals
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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