That's intense
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
