Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize