Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
