every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
