Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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