i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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