her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
