just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
