Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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