I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
