i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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