Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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