i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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